1.) Let's start with the forbidden and ever uncomfortable topic of sex. Sure, your mom and dad sat you down and explained to you that babies don't actually get dropped off on doorsteps in perfectly woven baskets filled with fresh linens. But did they tell you what to expect and what not to expect when you get married? Maybe they did. But if not, let me enlighten you. We've all seen the steamy scenes in the movie where the girl gets aggressively pushed against a wall and there are candles and rose petals and you can basically smell the passion through the screen. Unfortunately these movies give us an unreal idea of what it's really like. I don't care who you are, what you've done, or how awesome it is to make out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, that movie scene is for fairies. Many people mix up the meaning of sex with how it feels. Those are the ones that are missing out. Have you ever tried to use a pen or pencil as a back scratcher and become incredibly disappointed when it just wouldn't quite reach the spot? But when you use it for it's actual purpose to write with, it works so perfectly! That's a lot like what those people are experiencing through sex. Yes, they're using it, but not for it's purpose. It's not QUITE what it's supposed to be...at all really.
No, sex will not be hot and steamy and movie worthy probably for a while and no, ladies, your hair will not look like Rose's from Titanic afterwards. So, don't use it and abuse it before you get married and don't expect much from it after you get married. It is what joins you together in HOLY matrimony and makes you one, not what makes you feel like a movie star.
Though, as my brother-in-law (Josh) likes to say, "Practice makes perfect." (;
2.) Remember earlier when I mentioned how fairies think marriage will be like dating but better? Yeah...LOL!!!!!!!!! We all had that best friend that we just LOVED but when we were together 3 days in a row it started to seem like it'd be more fun to strangle that particular person than to "hang out" with them. Why? Because we spent enough time with them to see the little things that they do that make your pet peeve list grow by the minute. Try living with that person. For EVER. "But, Bron, this is different. I wasn't in love with Suzie. She was just my friend! I'm in LOVE with George! He's just so cute!" Yeah, have you repeatedly picked up "George's" dirty underwear on a daily basis? Have you sat in a giant bowl of water at two in the morning when "George" forgot to put the lid down? Oh, and he forgot to flush too, but it's okay, because he's just SO cute that you're more than happy to swim in his urine in the middle of the night! No, honey, it's not different. He's a human just like you and humans are disgusting. We are filthy, greedy, and thoughtless and most of the time we don't even realize it. It's those little things you must learn to accept and move on from and more importantly (I can't believe I'm gonna say it, but) LOVE. You have to love "George" for the stupid and incredibly obnoxious things he does that make you SO mad you can't even see straight. Until you can, you should not get married.
And...
3.) Are you the kind of person that likes to have that one (or 5) person(s) that you confide in? And by confide I mean vent and trash talk to? I am. 100%. I am the girl that calls my best friend and says, "You won't believe this..." Or, "Just listen to this..." Guilty! That's me. Or was me...don't get me wrong, I still vent to my best friend, but not about my husband. No way, no way! If you are the kind of person that MUST tell someone all about how you feel and that someone can't be the person you're feeling that way about, then kiss marriage goodbye because you're either not ready for it or digging a hole in the one you're currently in. You made a vow. A promise. A lifelong commitment and those weren't just saying, "You're the only person I'll ever sleep with or love." You promised to cherish that person. You promised to confide in THEM. To tell them your secrets. To HONOR them. I don't know about you, but I don't consider someone who trash talks me to "vent" someone that's even trying to honor me. And you may think you just made a little tiny slip up, but how would you feel if I told you that you just broke your wedding vows? BOOM! Mind blown! You did. So, apologize to your significant other and to the "ventee" because you screwed up big time. Also, this shouldn't even need to be said so I won't spend much time on it, but JUST IN CASE...don't go crying to mom and dad with a suitcase when you fight. Why, you ask? Because your mom and dad's little boy/girl and you're gonna go home tomorrow and kiss and make up with your spouse and it's going to be magical...but mom and dad? They won't forgive your spouse as easily as you did because they didn't make any vows to that person. Mom and dad are grudge holders because again...you are their little girl/boy.
Let me make this perfectly clear. This was not a blog about how much I hate marriage and how much it sucks. This was a blog about how much I LOVE marriage and how much of the good weighs out the suckiness if you're doing it right. Marriage is serious. It's not a trial. It's not a game. It's a commitment. It's a struggle. And if you're ready, it's more than worth it. Maybe eventually I'll write about the rewards of it all but right now is not that time. This has been on my heart for good reason.
So, that being said, unless you are fully ready to wholeheartedly-right-hand-on-a-stack-of-Bibles promise that you will NEVER do any of those things, you have no business even ring shopping so FORGET IT. As for all of you people that are soon to be married, if this blog made you rethink it and talked you out of getting married, GOOD. Because if you can be talked out of it then you're not ready.
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