Recently, someone asked me a question. They asked me this particular question because this person knew I had experience with the way she was feeling. She asked me how to "get over" the resentment and jealousy caused from the person she loved having made a mistake in his past and that mistake resulting in his not being a virgin. My initial reaction to this question was...well, resentment and jealousy. Why would someone bring up such a sensitive topic and expect me to lay it on the table for them? As I say there pondering what to say and trying to control my feelings, I remembered something I was told my sophomore year when I, too, had a question similar to this; "forgive them and get over it."
Forgiveness has never come easily to me. I'm a grudge holder by nature and it's something I struggle with. However, there comes a time (and then there comes other times) where you either have to learn to get over it or learn to live with your consequence of living with resentment. So, I had to ask myself some questions and come to a few realizations...this person made a big mistake. They know it was a BIG mistake. They have practically begged forgiveness. They have ALREADY been forgiven by someone a lot more important than me (God) and they are still begging. So, just because they made this mistake, does that mean they don't deserve to be forgiven by someone who hasn't made that particular mistake? Does this mean they automatically deserve to marry someone who has made the same mistake? And then I realized that if I wasn't the one to forgive, then someone else would and I'd be walking down the street 10 years later passing this forgiven man who is hand in hand with the woman who was strong enough to forgive him. And I wanted to be that woman.
So, though it may have taken me a little longer than usual, I finally came to my conclusion and was able to give this girl her answer. Simply put, I told her she needed to forgive him so he can forgive himself, get over it, and never bring it up again because how can he try to forgive himself and forget what happened if you won't let him? I do realize this is easier said than done, but don't be the person that misses out on a lifetime with someone who could be your soulmate just because you're a grudge holder. If you never settle for less than perfect, you'll always be alone, because NO ONE is perfect. So, get over it.
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