Marriage: Do You or Don't You?

My best friend and I were texting tonight and she said something that really struck me. We are both married and I'm 20 and she's 19, so needless to say, we got married young. She told me that some people she was talking to were saying things like, "I'm so glad I'm not married; I love my independence!" And "Thank God I'm not married!"

Here's what I've got to tell you, ladies and gents...

1.) YOUR WEDDING RING IS NOT A SHACKLE! If you or your spouse have the idea that putting a ring on it is congruent to putting a leash on it, then you've got a twisted idea of marriage and it's a good thing you're not married. Your wedding ring is a representation of pure devotion to your partner in life, not a warning to swear off the overly confident losers that want to buy you a drink ('cause that doesn't even work anyway.) 

2.) SIGNING YOUR MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE IS NOT SIGNING OVER YOUR INDEPENDENCE.

Okay, I've got a confession...I'm considered to be an independent woman in the sense that I don't like to be told what to do. Like...ever. It's a work in progress, I know. If I had ever thought for half a second that in order to wed I would be forfeiting any and all independence, you can bet your britches I'd be a single woman right about now. But guess what? I didn't! And now I've been married for almost two years and I still enjoy my independent nature! In fact, being married has enabled me to do more independent things like start my own business (spoiler alert!), and rent my own booth as a stylist! So, if it's lack of independence that's scaring you away from saying, "I do," STAHP. Just do it and love it! If you love your independence so much then try it out for yourself and you'll see. If you lose your independence after you get married then you married a controlling spouse. Sorry boutcha, that's your own fault.

Aaaaaand

3.) GETTING MARRIED SHOULD NOT MEAN LOSING YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!

"Hey! Wanna hang out tonight? The girls and I are watching Stepford Wives!"

"Oh, man, I wish, but I'm married, remember?! Can't do that-not allowed."

"Oh, right, I forgot!"

So, I've been married for about two years and I've had that conversation only about zero times per month, so that means never...wait...that would mean that I'm able to see my friends and socialize like a normal woman in her 20's...weird, I could have sworn most people told me they'd never get married young because they wanted to hang out with friends still.

Well, I got both, so who's really winning? THIS GIRL! 

Okay, here's the deal, let's get serious for a minute.

You don't have to get married. EVER. Really. It's your personal decision and if it's something you're not 100% sure about then you shouldn't do it! But don't tell me or someone else that you'd never get married because of reasons that are simply assumptions and couldn't be further from the truth. 

I will tell you honestly that there are situations where two people marry each other and one or both of them lose themselves entirely. Unfortunately, this is not a representation of a healthy marriage in my opinion. Marriage shouldn't put you in a box, it should put you on a pedestal; a pedestal that shows the world and all the critics that marriage is FUN and achievable sans the shackles and leashes.